To the Atmosphere and Beyond

A quote from Socrates,

"Man must rise above the Earth — to the top of the atmosphere and beyond — for only thus will he fully understand the world in which he lives." 

The photo was taken above the Chesapeake Bay.

I am not a man, nor have I made it to the atmosphere and beyond. I have however gone up far enough in a plane to fully understand the world in which I live in.

We are mere droplets of color on a charted map that does not judge us by who we are. Towns, cities, lakes, streams, and railroad tracks may separate us but they do not confine us. At 3,000 feet in the sky, the world below me shines with beauty. My charts used for navigation guide me along a path of wonders. A bit lower and I can see women hanging clothes out to dry in their yard. A boy riding his bicycle down a rural road. A farmer tending to his fields. A kayaker taking on one of the finger lakes. Factories with smoke billowing out of the tall exhaust pipes. Solar farms larger than life out in the middle of nowhere.

When I see this world through my eyes as a pilot, the world does not speak back to me. It does not tell me, that farmer was a Republican or that lady was a Jew or this town is filled with racists, or that river is polluted by that factory, or that college has sexual assault cases pending against it or that town is an LBGT community. My navigation charts do not label the world we live in, in such a way that we as humans label ourselves and the things around us. We judge we persecute, we hate, we disrespect, we show no discipline, and we allow for the violation of our own space to occur.

Why have we lost sight of the beauty around us? Is it an attempt to just lash out at everything that has ever undermined our well-being. For every time you never got to go to the movies, or spend the night at a friends house, or missed out on a party or lost a job to perhaps a better candidate. or heartbroken by those we thought we loved the most.

While many do not have an opportunity to sit as a pilot in a cockpit and view the world below them. Many do have the capacity to open their eyes and hearts to see and feel what is right there in front of them and surrounding them daily. We become blinded by the mundane human daily rituals of life itself. We no longer take the time to appreciate the beautiful, the ugly, the delicious or the distasteful. We have almost stopped learning.

I think Socrates had it right. We need to seek a path so far beyond our reach in order to truly understand what is going on around us. How will you make that happen in your life? Let's start a conversation. 

Who are you?

Who are we? Are we defined by our hobbies or interests? Our political views or religious background? What makes you, you? I can't be the only person out there that questions these sort of things in life. The other day I read a quote that went something like this, "We show our family one side of ourselves, our friends another side, and our true self no one sees". That really sort of spoke to me. Do we unintentionally do this or is it something that we just aren't even aware of?

For many of us, we probably are aware of it. Especially if your family is extremely conservative, while your friends maybe more liberal in their thinking, politics aside. The sad part of the quote is that we never show our "true self" to anyone. I find this hard to believe, but there must be some truth to it.

I guess a good example might be that all your friends love outdoor activities, like hiking for example, but your really don't. However, you never say anything because being with your friends is more important to you than saying you don't like to go hiking. A lifetime could go by and yet that friend or friends think you've always enjoyed hiking with them. When in fact is was just the company that meant something to you. You could have cared less about climbing Everest or hiking the Appalachian trail.

That said, is that really what the quote means about our true self? Or does it go deeper than that to how we love, laugh and cry. Is it our art or creative side that speaks to who we really are. Sort of like a silent friend or family member. Think about it, if you turned the clocks back to a time where there really wasn't a 8-5 or a 5 day work week. A time when your skill defined you, your knowledge made you who you are. Perhaps your discovery brought you the attention you desired. Where people then showing their true self more often than we do now? Probably not.

Photo taken in Centrailia, PA

I mean, we as humans have always done things to impress others. The "keeping up with the Joneses", is not really an exaggerated statement. Perhaps this is the reason we never show our true self.

Well whatever the answer might be, a sip more of my coffee and the topic no longer matters.

Have a great day folks!

Last Breath

Three years ago today I watched my aunt Sabah take her last breath in this world in her hospital bed. It is a moment in time that is so heavy of a burden to carry, that that day plays in my mind often. I could tell you each and every detail of that day, like it was today. It was the first time I watched someone fight death.

My aunt Sabah, my fathers sister.

Losing friends or family is a really hard thing. I lost my mother in a car accident 12 years ago. It was my dad, mom and I in a van traveling back home, when we were hit by a red light runner. The van was flipped, and my father and I survived the wreck. My mother was laying in the middle of the intersection barely alive. She died on the way to the hospital in the same ambulance I was riding in.

My parents and I.

Many of us don't talk about loss or deal with it well. I have lost so many people that I feel like I've become numb to it all sometimes. When you get a call this person past or that person past or this person is on their way to passing. Neither one of these experiences is easier than the other to deal with.

What I have learned over the years with loss, is that it is truly important to be the best that you can be as a mother, brother, sister, father, niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, grandpa, grandma, uncle aunt ...you get the hint. Just be a good person. Do not judge, or disrespect. Do not hate or wish bad things on people. Do not push people away from you, just because you are having a bad a day.

Everyday on earth is a gift. You should treat it as it was intended to be treated as "the greatest gift on earth....LIFE"!

Quote:

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." Marcus Aurelius

I took this photo in OBX, NC. It was a peaceful day.

Finding Pure Zen

Have you ever found yourself missing a place you once lived in or visited? Then you find yourself there again, only to realize that you missed it more than you thought you did. Well, this happened to me while I was in Milwaukee over the weekend. I know what you're thinking, it's cold as hell there, how do you even love that place. Fair question, let me explain.

Back in 2013 I did a motorcycle ride to the 110th Harley Anniversary party. When I left Milwaukee to head back home to Pennsylvania, I went by way of Canada. Prior to crossing into Canada, I had stopped for gas. A lady pumping gas into her car kept looking at me. She eventually got the guts to walk over and start a conversation. She had noticed my bike fully loaded with gear and dirty. She asked me where I had been, and where I was headed. We talked about the places I had been and all the people I had met. She asked me where my favorite places where and why. At the end of the conversation, she said she lived where she felt relaxed. Where she felt like part of a community. I told her I didn't feel that in Pennsylvania, and that was probably why I always ended up back there and then left again.

After that conversation, I drove across the Canadian/American boarder and was cruising along. Then it hit me. A thought hit me so hard, I about lost control of my bike. It was like a movie scene, when all of a sudden you are holding your arms out and rotating 360 degrees and there is a light that shines down on you and the scenery behind you is just all white or blurred. It was a total ah huh moment, to say the least.

While I was riding, I was looking around at this new country. Which did not feel new. It looked like America, I mean there were stores, shopping malls, gas stations with different names. All in all, it is the same shit. This had me thinking of all the places I had traveled to in the USA. It was really all the same. The landscape changes, and so do the faces....that's it! That's all that changes! So, that brought me to question, where do I love the landscape and the faces! Ha, I know it sounds silly, but this was the ah huh moment.

So, what does all of this have to do with Milwaukee? Well, I love the landscape! I'm in love with the people, the food, the city, the community feel and the cultures. It seemed to be such a perfect blend of all of these things. There are no mountains, but Lake Michigan has a magical feel to it. It is hard to not be attracted to the purity of water. I feel like I have found Zen being around the water. Out of all the bodies of water these eyes have seen in my 39 years of living, its these waters I crave. It was hard to leave, it's been hard adjusting back to PA life.

Pennsylvania just has nothing zen about it. I feel like I am suffocating each and every single day. Sure I have plenty of family and friends here. I mean, this is where life began. This just doesn't seem to be a place that inspires, or cultivates creativity. It masks happiness and creates struggle. I see it everyday in peoples eyes that I pass walking in the street, or seeing their faces while driving their cars, or just people watching at the gas station. You just feel the anxiety, pressure, routine, all of these things that breed the "keeping up with the Joneses" type of mentality. It is in the air, and seems to be suffocating everyone.

Once you cross PA state boarders, and I don't care who you are, it is as if you dropped all the boulders off of your shoulders. People change, you sense happiness again in folks. I don't know what it is, but something must change!

An Inspiring story of one man, one motorcycle and his mission to bring Suicide awareness to the forefront.

A year ago I was making my way into work one morning. Only that day turned out to be a different morning, which changed my mood for the rest of the day and honestly the next few days there after.

I had just parked and was walking to the main door to scan in. When I saw a guy messing around with a MSR universal windscreen. He was attempting to install it on an old beautiful BMW. I have a huge soft spot for the vintage bikes and if I had the money, I would probably have a garage of vintage BMW, Suzuki, Honda, Indian...well you get the idea. Nonetheless, many of you all know me, I am not that type of person to just walk on by without starting a conversation. This guys had his bike was fully packed up with luggage and I knew he was about to embark on a journey. Only his journey was a life mission.

Photo taken by Chris Michael, visit his blog to see more photos of his bike and the folks he met along the way.

After my evaluation of what was going on I finally had approached him and asked if he needed help. He looked up somewhat happy that someone was there and offering assistance. We got to talking and went through introductions. He said his name was Chris and he was about to start a motorcycle journey consisting of interviews with strangers all around one emotional topic, suicide. More particularly men who lost their fathers to suicide. I was floored! I was not expecting to hear that, usually in my work parking lot I meet folks off to Alaska, or Key West, or just going across country for a ride. Not often do you meet someone on such a heart felt mission for change. It was the type of movement that inspired change.

Chris went on to tell me about his Kick Starter campaign to get this series of interviews funded for and how the Suicide Prevention Association was also supporting his project. He continued with his story as he personally opened up to me that he had lost his father to suicide and the emotion, pain and struggles that brought to his family. He had just recently started coming to terms with it, and began disclosing the truth. He continued saying it was such a struggle to talk about such a topic, most folks just do not want to discuss it. I can understand that, because it seems like you mention suicide and everyone disperses. Knowing this happens, Chris wanted to make it a topic of healing. Which hence drove the passion to want to reach out to other men that had not talked about it, but were really wanting to deep down inside. Chris was amazed at the response he got from folks and the voluntary interviews that just poured in via email or phone.

After such a deep discussion I realized I really had to get in to work to start my day. We managed to get the windscreen installed as he was about to ride up to New York to record his first interview. We exchanged contact information so we could keep in touch. Fast forward to a year later and some emails between then and now, I get an email the other morning from Chris. He writes,

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I finished the first series of audio interviews and you can read about it here, and hear the episodes at www.fatherlessbysuicide.com."

I hope you all can take the time to listen to these stories, as I have started doing, and open your hearts and mind to the courage it took these men to speak publicly about their fathers and suicide. I will leave you all today with another informational piece taken from Chris's blog regarding Getting Help:

If you need to talk to someone now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and you’ll be connected with a trained counselor. They can also connect you to mental health services in your area. The line is available 24/7 and is for people in crisis and those who support people in crisis. 

If you are a Veteran or a family member of a Veteran, you can access specialized crisis services through the
Confidential Veteran's crisis chat. 

If you've lost someone to suicide, you may find the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's resources, stories and local groups helpful.Explore their site and connect with other survivors here.

Life After Wedding Planning

For those of you reading this blog, yes, I survived wedding planning. First off, I have to say, cheers to other ladies that made it through. Heck, big cheers to the fellas as well, because we all know "mom's" like to take over. Cool and thoughtful of them, but damn right stressful.

I honestly have to say, after you sit down and reflect on the experience it really was one of the most anxiety driven experiences of my life. None of it brought on by myself or my partner. All of it brought on by others. We understood is was all in good nature, but honestly it was a nightmare. People are freaking crazy about wedding planning and it does not need to be so crazy.

Many nights I sat with my fiance questioning the idea of marriage and how nothing but stress has come of this. Many nights he and I spoke of how we need to try to stay positive and how this may just be another test from the powers that be. Many nights he just wanted to call the whole thing off, just because of the level of stress it was on both of us. Sure we could have eloped, but think about that for a minute. A wedding day with no one to party with. I could not imagine that one bit, even though I am the type of person that will make friends anywhere and everywhere. The wedding went on as planned, even though jumping off a bridge was more attractive than planning this event.

From people laughing at you because you choose not to have Bridesmaids or Groomsmen. To folks asking about center pieces, that one ever really pays attention to. To wasting money on flowers that do nothing but make people sneeze. To invites and thank you cards that people just open up and then through away in the trash. I am an earth day born child. Waste is not in my vocabulary. Sitting through listening to people laughing at the ideas I had really was a stressful thing to do. In the end, I was getting married not them. Somehow, the roles change and you get bumped off the curb. Standing your ground seems to make tension, however, it was the best thing I did. I was just sick of it all and so was my fiance.

Fast forward to the wedding day, which turned out to be the most amazing day of my life. Not something this car wrenching, bike wrenching chic would say. At the end of the whole ordeal, we had many of guests thank us for having such a relaxed and chill wedding. A wedding that did not require them to wear suits/fancy dresses, a wedding that did not have assigned sitting, a wedding that more of a house party and forced you to talk to people you have never seen before in your life. Well that was the type of day it was and that in the end was what my husband and I were trying to accomplish.

When they say the person you are going to marry creeps up on you and love smacks you in the face when you least expect it, they are not joking. Luke and I met a friends BBQ, however I was so intoxicated I do not recall ever saying much to him. Our first date however, was one of the nicest days I can remember. From that day on EVERYTHING changed.

Once you wake up the next morning, married, you think to yourself "holy shit, yesterday went by so so so fast"! Your then fiance, now "husband", try saying that ten times fast half hung over, boy is it an eye opener. Trust me I tried it! I think I got right after a gallon of coffee and 4 Advil! He was pretty much doing the same thing, all I could hear is "wifey", I have a "wifey". Those words never sounded so good. So to wrap this up, Cheers! to the couples that survived wedding planning. Life after it, is pretty damn good! Minus the damn thank you cards, "ain't nobody got time for that!"

"hipsterish"

The term Hipster drives me nuts. Sorry to break it to everyone, but hipsters are far from hip. It's a lazy culture caught up in there electronic mobile devices. They don't see outside the box...or in this case "screen". (Which is still a box)
It seems to be a more of an annoying culture than the epidemic of saggy pants. Maybe it's just me, I don't get it. Maybe I'm not supposed to get it, cause I'm not a hipster or hipsterish. What drives me up the wall more than anything is when people say "you're drinking hipster beer". Sorry to break the news but PBR and Old Milwaukee have been around well before most of us. Keep in mind this hipster phase is very new still.

What are your thoughts about hipsters?

True bliss!

My first blog post of the year, on a brand new blog! Let's talk about "True Bliss"!

Over the weekend I went on two different rides. I'm a huge motorcycle enthusiast and I never turn down a ride offer. There is just something special about being on a motorcycle. Have you ever felt true bliss in something you do?

Every single time I get on my motorcycle my mind clears, zen thoughts begin to take over, boulders are rolling off my shoulders, a smile a mile long goes across my face and the will that I can do anything takes over. That my friends is my true bliss. Life is something that is meant to be lived. It's as simple as the word itself, Life...it means living! Therefore, I challenge you to live life and find your bliss. Don't let anyone tear down your hopes and dreams. The ones that try to, are the ones that will never live life.