My Cat Sunny

Pets are something else. For those of us that do not have kids, they are our children. We care for them, love them, feed them and spend money on them. Some people go as far as buying clothes, fancy beds and making fresh food. Sunny came with the husband. It was a package deal. Sunny is a male cat and is about 12 years old now. He has only in the last year really begun to get close to me. The same sort of connection he has with my husband. I mean not as deal and unconditional, but I will take what I can get. Usually, I am the third wheel in this family. Since Sunny has come into my life every day has been an adventure with him. I decided to share his greatest moments since I joined the family. 

Tucked under the warm covers.

He will stare at our wedding photos for minutes at a time.

Showing daddy some love.

Showing mommy some love.

He loves to go for walks and lay in the grass.

He has his GQ moments. Watch out lady cats!

Helping me complete a puzzle. Well, he thought he was helping.

His first Christmas with us in our new home in a new state.

He loves his new bed.

He loves to lounge and watch TV with us.

Who are you?

Who are we? Are we defined by our hobbies or interests? Our political views or religious background? What makes you, you? I can't be the only person out there that questions these sort of things in life. The other day I read a quote that went something like this, "We show our family one side of ourselves, our friends another side, and our true self no one sees". That really sort of spoke to me. Do we unintentionally do this or is it something that we just aren't even aware of?

For many of us, we probably are aware of it. Especially if your family is extremely conservative, while your friends maybe more liberal in their thinking, politics aside. The sad part of the quote is that we never show our "true self" to anyone. I find this hard to believe, but there must be some truth to it.

I guess a good example might be that all your friends love outdoor activities, like hiking for example, but your really don't. However, you never say anything because being with your friends is more important to you than saying you don't like to go hiking. A lifetime could go by and yet that friend or friends think you've always enjoyed hiking with them. When in fact is was just the company that meant something to you. You could have cared less about climbing Everest or hiking the Appalachian trail.

That said, is that really what the quote means about our true self? Or does it go deeper than that to how we love, laugh and cry. Is it our art or creative side that speaks to who we really are. Sort of like a silent friend or family member. Think about it, if you turned the clocks back to a time where there really wasn't a 8-5 or a 5 day work week. A time when your skill defined you, your knowledge made you who you are. Perhaps your discovery brought you the attention you desired. Where people then showing their true self more often than we do now? Probably not.

Photo taken in Centrailia, PA

I mean, we as humans have always done things to impress others. The "keeping up with the Joneses", is not really an exaggerated statement. Perhaps this is the reason we never show our true self.

Well whatever the answer might be, a sip more of my coffee and the topic no longer matters.

Have a great day folks!

Last Breath

Three years ago today I watched my aunt Sabah take her last breath in this world in her hospital bed. It is a moment in time that is so heavy of a burden to carry, that that day plays in my mind often. I could tell you each and every detail of that day, like it was today. It was the first time I watched someone fight death.

My aunt Sabah, my fathers sister.

Losing friends or family is a really hard thing. I lost my mother in a car accident 12 years ago. It was my dad, mom and I in a van traveling back home, when we were hit by a red light runner. The van was flipped, and my father and I survived the wreck. My mother was laying in the middle of the intersection barely alive. She died on the way to the hospital in the same ambulance I was riding in.

My parents and I.

Many of us don't talk about loss or deal with it well. I have lost so many people that I feel like I've become numb to it all sometimes. When you get a call this person past or that person past or this person is on their way to passing. Neither one of these experiences is easier than the other to deal with.

What I have learned over the years with loss, is that it is truly important to be the best that you can be as a mother, brother, sister, father, niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, grandpa, grandma, uncle aunt ...you get the hint. Just be a good person. Do not judge, or disrespect. Do not hate or wish bad things on people. Do not push people away from you, just because you are having a bad a day.

Everyday on earth is a gift. You should treat it as it was intended to be treated as "the greatest gift on earth....LIFE"!

Quote:

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." Marcus Aurelius

I took this photo in OBX, NC. It was a peaceful day.

An Inspiring story of one man, one motorcycle and his mission to bring Suicide awareness to the forefront.

A year ago I was making my way into work one morning. Only that day turned out to be a different morning, which changed my mood for the rest of the day and honestly the next few days there after.

I had just parked and was walking to the main door to scan in. When I saw a guy messing around with a MSR universal windscreen. He was attempting to install it on an old beautiful BMW. I have a huge soft spot for the vintage bikes and if I had the money, I would probably have a garage of vintage BMW, Suzuki, Honda, Indian...well you get the idea. Nonetheless, many of you all know me, I am not that type of person to just walk on by without starting a conversation. This guys had his bike was fully packed up with luggage and I knew he was about to embark on a journey. Only his journey was a life mission.

Photo taken by Chris Michael, visit his blog to see more photos of his bike and the folks he met along the way.

After my evaluation of what was going on I finally had approached him and asked if he needed help. He looked up somewhat happy that someone was there and offering assistance. We got to talking and went through introductions. He said his name was Chris and he was about to start a motorcycle journey consisting of interviews with strangers all around one emotional topic, suicide. More particularly men who lost their fathers to suicide. I was floored! I was not expecting to hear that, usually in my work parking lot I meet folks off to Alaska, or Key West, or just going across country for a ride. Not often do you meet someone on such a heart felt mission for change. It was the type of movement that inspired change.

Chris went on to tell me about his Kick Starter campaign to get this series of interviews funded for and how the Suicide Prevention Association was also supporting his project. He continued with his story as he personally opened up to me that he had lost his father to suicide and the emotion, pain and struggles that brought to his family. He had just recently started coming to terms with it, and began disclosing the truth. He continued saying it was such a struggle to talk about such a topic, most folks just do not want to discuss it. I can understand that, because it seems like you mention suicide and everyone disperses. Knowing this happens, Chris wanted to make it a topic of healing. Which hence drove the passion to want to reach out to other men that had not talked about it, but were really wanting to deep down inside. Chris was amazed at the response he got from folks and the voluntary interviews that just poured in via email or phone.

After such a deep discussion I realized I really had to get in to work to start my day. We managed to get the windscreen installed as he was about to ride up to New York to record his first interview. We exchanged contact information so we could keep in touch. Fast forward to a year later and some emails between then and now, I get an email the other morning from Chris. He writes,

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I finished the first series of audio interviews and you can read about it here, and hear the episodes at www.fatherlessbysuicide.com."

I hope you all can take the time to listen to these stories, as I have started doing, and open your hearts and mind to the courage it took these men to speak publicly about their fathers and suicide. I will leave you all today with another informational piece taken from Chris's blog regarding Getting Help:

If you need to talk to someone now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and you’ll be connected with a trained counselor. They can also connect you to mental health services in your area. The line is available 24/7 and is for people in crisis and those who support people in crisis. 

If you are a Veteran or a family member of a Veteran, you can access specialized crisis services through the
Confidential Veteran's crisis chat. 

If you've lost someone to suicide, you may find the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's resources, stories and local groups helpful.Explore their site and connect with other survivors here.